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As the bitter cold of winter settles in and temperatures plunge well below freezing, many of us find ourselves huddled indoors, seeking refuge from the frigid, howling winds that steal our breath away.

Even at 40, I feel a constant push from friends and family to stay engaged through social media and the relentless barrage of notifications. The assumption often is that if you’re alone, you're lonely — or worse, missing out.

But what if solitude isn't about cutting off from others, but about giving ourselves time to recharge, so we can show up as our best selves when we do connect? Maybe all of us fall somewhere on the introvert-extrovert spectrum. And perhaps even extroverts need to recharge.

Dr. John Cacioppo, a renowned neuroscientist who pioneered social neuroscience, spent years studying loneliness. He found that those who spend time alone often handle stress better and bounce back emotionally.

According to Cacioppo, it’s not about isolation — it’s about making space for a quiet mind, away from daily demands, to regain mental and emotional balance.

Dr. Matthew Lieberman, a professor at UCLA and a leader in social neuroscience, found that even when we’re alone, our brains are still active, processing social and emotional information. In solitude, our brains continue to engage with past interactions and prepare for future ones.

This means our brains don’t shut down socially when we’re alone; rather, they support self-reflection and help us understand others better when we reenter social settings. It’s important to note, however, that Lieberman’s research also emphasizes how chronic isolation can have negative effects. Intentional solitude, on the other hand, is a temporary, balanced practice that has different benefits.

Solitude may also boost creativity. Time alone — without distractions — can improve problem-solving and innovative thinking. Research from the University of Kansas found that people walking alone solved creative problems better than those walking with others.

Solitude helps us think more clearly and come up with fresh solutions.

As someone with a large family, I can’t overstate how important those fleeting moments of solitude are. I actively seek them out, but I’m also good at dissociating into my tasks and filtering out the noise around me. I love my family, but we all need a break. After hours of listening, talking and engaging, I need a hard reset. The world is full of noise, and even when it’s quiet, the noise in my head needs time to settle.

Solitude isn’t an escape but a way to navigate the world more effectively. It’s about coming back to others with a clearer perspective and a more balanced approach — and sometimes, a burst of creativity and motivation for work and social situations.

Intentional solitude is something we've been practicing for centuries across various cultures and spiritual practices. In Buddhism, solitude is regarded as a tool for clarity and insight, not isolation. Buddha himself spent significant time alone in meditation, not to avoid people but to prepare for deeper engagement with the world and to practice transcending worldly attachments through reaching enlightenment.

The term "enlightenment" in English comes from Buddhist words like bodhi in Sanskrit. Bodhi refers to wisdom or awakened understanding.

Monasticism is found in several religions, including Buddhism, Christianity, Hinduism and Sikhism. This is a religious/spiritual practice in which people cast off worldly attachments and usually live in religious communes, churches or temples where they devote their lives to their spiritual work and community service. Within Catholicism and Eastern Orthodoxy, monks and nuns dedicate themselves to a life of prayer, service and simplicity as part of their spiritual commitment.

While extreme cases of solitude, like monasticism and the Buddhist idea of enlightenment through meditation, may seem far removed from our daily lives, we can still learn a lot from these traditions. It’s in the stillness that we gain clarity on what truly matters — our intentions, values and how we want to interact with the world.

Whether it’s a quiet evening, a winter stroll (on a less windy day) or just a moment of stillness, taking time alone can help us feel more grounded when we return to the world.

On a related note, Dr. Naomi Eisenberger, a UCLA researcher and Dr. Lieberman’s wife, has explored how our brains react to social rejection through pain receptors in the same way they react to physical pain. Social pain alerts us that our relationships may need attention in a similar way as our brain alerts us to physical pain that needs attention. So, intentional solitude and self-reflection could help us work through social issues.

Writing this article and putting myself out there triggered my social rejection or "pain receptors." Normally, I don’t broadcast my thoughts like this, which ties into my introverted nature. But I can assure you — I’m not missing anything when I step away from the chaos of life. In fact, I’m likely gaining more by giving myself that break. And I’d bet this could be true for many of you, too.

With the season of giving in full swing, many of us are feeling the constant pressure to meet expectations, attend every social gathering, manage family dynamics and keep up with the rush toward the new year.

Amid all the festivities and piles of wrapping paper, remember to find a moment for yourself — whether it's a meditative cup of coffee or hot cocoa, a quiet walk or just to sit and ponder, remember that this is a gift you give to yourself and all your loved ones. And Happy Holidays!