歪歪漫画

My son can鈥檛 stand or kneel. It hit me when the "Star-Spangled Banner" started playing ahead of the Feb. 20 University of North Dakota football game at the Alerus Center in Grand Forks, N.D. While there has been much discussion and debate about what athletes do during our country鈥檚 national anthem, I would jump into for the rest of my earthly days to give him an opportunity to stand again alongside his teammates.

Prior to the national anthem, UND played a video featuring head football coach Bubba Schweigert and the team鈥檚 five captains: Jordan Canady, Garett Magg, Nathan Nguon, Jaxson Turner and our son, Hunter.

While I鈥檓 not going to recount the full script, the message from the coach and each player-leader focused on unity, equality, diversity and inclusion. For many, this encompasses divisions of racial inequality and the message of bringing all people together also includes Hunter , who played on the field for three seasons and stood as a redshirt.

Truthfully, as a white, middle-class mother from rural America, I鈥檝e never thought much about inclusion and equality in terms of our own three children but have thought of it as a teammate, colleague and friend. Couple an ethnically diverse football team with my son鈥檚 obstacles as a 鈥渟eated鈥� teammate now, and the video means more to me than UND鈥檚 early season wins and rankings.

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The video led me to be a part of a post-game discussion among parents, who are some of our most loyal friends. We have been doing life with this group for the past five years and they were by our side during some of our darkest days after Hunter鈥檚 accident and through his rehabilitation.

My takeaway from the video is this: We need to have conversations with people from different places, races, ethnic experiences and points of view to bring all people together. We need to listen.

If Hunter were playing, rather than on the sidelines now, I don鈥檛 know if I would have allowed myself enough time and space to pause and soak in the opening video and message. I don鈥檛 know that I would have noticed each team member as they stood for the national anthem, together as one unified team who always stood by Hunter when he played and continue to do so now as he remains seated during the national anthem.

The message of unity resonated throughout the day when I connected with a mom of a player on the opposing team.

I knew the first game we attended after Hunter鈥檚 accident would be emotional. I tried to prepare and work through the emotions ahead of time. But the first time Hunter rolled onto the field with his team, I was thankful my mask could soak up my tears.

As the game started, I glanced down at my phone to find a social media message from a fellow football mom from the opposing team. I walked over to the opposing team鈥檚 seats to meet the parents of a Southern Illinois Saluki鈥檚 player. They had followed Hunter and our family鈥檚 story. While the game carried on with an exciting interception, I sat in the opposing team鈥檚 section and saw our North Dakota fans cheering.

I felt more unified than divided among the 鈥渙pposition.鈥� Last week, a similar yet different message connected me to a mom of a South Dakota State football player. Meeting her reminded me we all have a story. Each of us suffers and works through our own process to overcome and move on in our life.

If Hunter鈥檚 accident and story hadn鈥檛 unfolded over the past 14 months, I wouldn鈥檛 have paused long enough to connect and listen on a deeper level to his teammates and their families as well as two families seated in the visitor鈥檚 section. I know I wouldn鈥檛 have paid close attention to the video message ahead of the national anthem to the depth, understanding and appreciation I did. I recorded the video message at the second game of the season, shared in social media and replayed at home for our daughters.

I don鈥檛 have answers or solutions to the divisions we face culturally or as a nation, but I know starting in my own corner by listening and being a part of conversations is a positive start.

Pinke is the publisher and general manager of Agweek. She can be reached at kpinke@agweek.com, or connect with her on Twitter @katpinke.